Song of Sarcasm

From WikiWrit

[edit] Chapter One

The Computer is my shepherd, I shall not want. It leads me beside free pornography. It steadies my mouse clicking hand. It layeth nude women before me, That I may never see otherwise. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of spam, I shall fear no virus, For thou hast Norton. Thou setteth a table before me In the presence of noobs. My Pepsi and my Fritos runneth over. And I will dwell in my parent's basement Forever.

[edit] Chapter Two

There is a quiet place within me. A place no man can touch. Where my God and I commune with each other. To me He reveals the mysteries of the universe. And cheat codes for upcoming Halo releases. In my ear, He whispers sweet music, Like the sound of noobs weeping. I taketh up His call to frag. The horns of battle sound, And I may pwn for all eternity.

[edit] Chapter Three

My God, my God! Why hast thou forsaken me? Why hast thou left me alone in this pit of torment? Desperate for a phone call, perhaps a date? Why dost thou leave me in pits of leeches? Sleepless fools surround me. I cry out to thee in my time of need! Send down thy precious rays of light. Shower me with thy good graces. And Mountain Dew. Hear my pleas! My prayers must not go unanswered! For I am frightened and alone without... Caffeine