George W. Bush
From WikiWrit
George W. Bush is the president of the United States of America and one of the smartest men alive. He has made several breakthroughs in practical science and challenges even Stephen Hawking himself when it comes to sheer intelligentness. Among the things he has discovered about the world, includes that most of the country's imports come from other countries in the world. It is believed that the same goes for exports, only vice versa, but no one has been able to prove the fact and it still stands disputed until Bush takes it upon himself to make a statement about it.
Contents |
[edit] Genius
President Bush is also a tactical genius. Surveillance photos taken over Iraq passed before the eyes of the world, no one save one man, saw that the apparent Kurdi houses were in fact facilities for Weapons of Mass Destruction. That man was President George W. Bush. And no wonder that the world could no see what Bush saw, for even after having invaded Iraq, there are still no signs of the weapons, even after they have been destroyed. That's how well they were hidden. And now a message from the President
Im prezdint Bush, heh. Im so smart I shoot mah friends to show enimies that I bean mizness, heh heh. I love cheeze and soda... but not pretzleltles. Or howevr ya spell it, heh heh. Excuse me, Amurrica is in danger from terra. *presses big red shiny button*
This has been a message from the President
[edit] Priorities
But Bush is not only a smart man, he is also a man who knows where his priorities lie and has great insight into the human mind and the world in general. That is clearly shown by his decision to ignore North Korea, which is making and testing WMD's as well as practically begging to be attacked and being generally rude. However, Bush knows who's who and what's what, and does not deem North Korea such a risk as they are trying to make themselves. And while they scare the crap out of their neighbors and rest of the world, no one can intimidate the man with brains of steel. Bush knows that North Korea is launching China's 1950's missile rejects into the sea of Japan and they were targeted at the USA, but fell into the sea. Those NDong and NDong II missiles are lucky they don't blow up on the launchpads because they are over 50 year old Chinese surplus. Kim Jung Il isn't even smart enough to figure out how to enrich uranium, because he is using the wrong pipes and Doctor Brown sold him used pinball parts and kept the uranium to power his Delorean Time Machine to get the 1.21 Gigawatts to charge up his flux capacitor and make the car go 88 MPH to travel in time. He should have used something faster, like a Ferrari 512 Berlinetta Boxer or suchlike.
[edit] The War on Terrorism
Saddam hid his WMDs and drained the warheads leaving chemical traces of Sarin and Mustard gas. Saddam made a deal with Iran and Syria to take his WMDs until the weapons inspectors from the UN left, and Saddam forbid them to search his underground network of bunkers and palaces with secret compartments for hiding things. Bush knows that Iran and Syria are up to no good, because they secretly support the terrorists in Iraq, as well as Hamas and Hezbollah two more terrorist organizations. Bush knows that if Iran and Syria keep it up, we might have to bring back the draft to invade them as well.
As for the total disapearance of the WMD's, well, obviously a wizard did it.
[edit] The New World Order
George W. Bush is a secret part of the New World Order headed up by Odin and others, to try and take control of the world over from Loki who heads up the old world order. When Jesus went on a Coffee break about 2000 years ago, he brought Loki back to life and gave him control of Christianity and the world. Loki established the old world order and converted many pagans and other religious people into Christians. Odin and the other Asgardian gods were reborn, and now seek to take back control of humankind and give control of Christianity back to Jesus, if they can just convince Jesus to take back control and end his Coffee break.
[edit] Pronunciation of the word "Nucular"
President Bush miraculously transformed this two syllable word into a three- (and sometimes four-) syllable word.
