From WikiWrit

This is the word of our Divine masters, and Foamy, that have thusly dictated their will through our bodies, in which we were forced to write, against our collective wills. Any part of it which is not True enough just needs to be edited some more.

Contents 1 The True Commandment 2 The Commandment of Commandments 2.1 The Commandment List 2.1.1 True Commandments Written in Stone And Delivered From Mt. Improbable SInai 2.1.2 Lesser C0mm4ndm3ntz (l3zz d34dly) 2.2 The Commandments Thou Hast No Choice But To Follow 2.3 The Commandments No One Follows

[edit] The True Commandment

Any side article or page must not be linked to in Ye Editable Table of Contents as is defined in the uneditable Main Page. It also helps by cutting down the work that Daddakamabb doesn't do.

[edit] The Commandment of Commandments

If thou dost not follow the commandments thou art doomed to my Ass, and if thou hast followed the commandments in full thou shalt be rewarded with being a heathen. This is my word.

[edit] The Commandment List

[edit] True Commandments Written in Stone And Delivered From Mt. Improbable SInai

(Of which there are exactly X, so make 'em count.)

I. Thou shalt obey WikiWrit in everything, following the holy commandments as ordained from above.

II. Conveniently, thou canst change WikiWrit whenever thou wantest. Unless it is to maketh an edit war for whosoever doth make an edit war is an abomination in my eyes and thou mayst be smitten Lo! a great smiting selah hallelujah amen (see wars of the wikkiwryt)

III. There shalt be no other Gods before me, unless such Gods canst defeat me in a game of Roshambo. I go first.

IV. Thou shalt not get caught.

V. Thou shalt love thy neighbor that he or she might knoweth thy love well and loveth thy love to the fullest possible extent.

VI. Thou shalt not. Unless thou really, really desirest it, and it hath not detrimental effects for thy fellow beings.

VII. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s significant other unless s/he is really hot.

VIII. Thou shalt not commit murder, unless thou wert on crack at the time, or they were sleeping with thy wife and/or husband, for which thou will be forgiven by his holyness.

IX. Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath; on this day thou shalt be permitted only to bust some funky moves. Thou shalt be permitted to do this, all other Great Commandments notwithstanding.

X. Thou shalt not practice Panupunitoplasty.

[edit] Lesser C0mm4ndm3ntz (l3zz d34dly)

1. If at first thou dost not succeed, this is a Sign that I do not wish thee to continue.
2. In emergencies, thou shalt declare the 23rd commandment to mean whatever best suits the situation.
3. Thou shalt update the article for WikiWrit on Wikipedia, and ensure its accuracy.
4. The number of planets number as eleven, and forever shall be eleven; as quoted in the Book of Numbers.
5. Netspeak is an abomination unto the gods and should only be used ironically and rarely. w00t.
6. "yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation.
7. Thou must follow the laws of Coffee. Only those strong of will, low of stamina, and slightly sleepy may partake of this holy drink. The same goes for black tea, thou putz.
8. Every time I see thee masturbate, a kitten shall I smite. If I see a kitten masturbate, I shall be both repelled and attracted.
9. Thou canst only eat of the animals that I have provided if, and only if thou art the one to kill, skin, and clean the carcass. No one else canst clean thy meat, it must be by thy own hands. And if thou canst not deal with it, then goest unto the world, and eat thou some veggies thou puss.
10. Attributest all coincidences to God, for it is a sign.
11. I do not answer prayers. Do not come whining to me, figure out thine own problems.
12. Whoever is convicted of speaking false witness shall be flung from the Tarpeian Rock. Trust Me, getting flung from the Tarpeian Rock is bloody awful, as well as being a tremendous faux pas.
13. Thou shalt not try to nullify or make up a commandment, not even with a foundation layer.
14. Thou Shalt Eat All thy Vegetables, Especially thy Carrots, or Thou Shalt Surely be made to Sit at the Table Until thou hast.
15. Thou shalt not disobey the commmandment numbered above this one.
16. Thou shalt not make redundant commandments.
17. Thou shalt not make commandments that are redundant.
18. Thou shalt obey the commandment following this one, and never break it.
19. Thou shalt break the previous commandment as often as humanely possible.
20. Thou shalt not useth the word "pimp" in relation to thine automobile.
21. Thou shalt not gain the New World Order but rather be a member of the Illuminati.
22. Thou shalt throw rocks at toddlers on tuesdays
23. Thou shalt use laser vision to heat soup
24. Thou shalt wait until the morning it is due to complete thy essay.
25. Thou shalt observe the day of rest on Saturdays. Observe only. Still work, for the Lord shall smile upon unpaid overtime.
26. Thou shalt tidy the earth by killing a chav/redneck/bogan
27. Thou shalt make note of this commandment
28. Thou should not be involved in matchmaking schemes. If thou cannot get laid, meddling will only anger the Supreme Being(s).
29. When in need, then indeed. So... stop complaining, you little whiny praying brats.
30. Thou shalt not eat egg salad, unless it has been molded into a sandwich.
31. Thou shalt not wear Burberry. Ever. It is a uniform reserved for the servants of Satan.
32. Thou shalt go out of thy way to honor those of the ginger persuasion, at all times. For their hair resembleth the great and glorious flame, and for they are super-hot, but burn easily.
33. Thou shalt dress as a symbol of thy country every friday. The more obnoxious, the more pleasing you are to the Supreme Being(s).
34. Thou shalt take a day of rest on any of the following days: too hot, too cold, windy, rainy, snowy, stormy, sunny.
35. Thou shalt not acknowledge Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton or Victoria Beckham. or
36. Thou shalt read all these commandments on a regular basis and follow at least half of them every now and again, if they are amusing or clever.
37. Thou shall not get a normal life, but spend all of thine life editing Wikiwrit
38. Thou shall always have a knife, and it shall always be sharp.
39. Thou shalt honor thy high virtue of "A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
40. Thou shalt not wear a kilt unless first thou hast spoken in a bad scottish accent
41. Thou shalt pay homage when the shananaman cometh
42. Thou shalt Keep Right at all times, unless thou dwelleth in barbarous regions which know not the proper side of the road on which to drive horseless chariots.
43. Thou shalt not reveal Too Much Information; instead, thou shalt keep thy trap shut, for none wish to hear rumour of thy exploits in the privy, sirrah.
44. Thou shalt randomly use the parts of songs by The Smiths in thine conversation.
45. Thou shalt not never use no multiple negatives.
46. Thou shalt never buy a Ford Fiesta and kit it out with a mismatched bodykit, then go on to proclaim said car to be "phat, innit!"
47. Thou shalt stop abusing ye olde English.
48. Thou shalt revere Terry Pratchett and all his works, for they rock supremely.
49. Thou shalt break a commandment every once in a while that I may vent My frustration through smiting.
50. Thou shalt amuse thy self by building an igloo out of kittens.
51. Thou shalt never follow this commandment.
52. Thou shalt lay off the leet, or l33t, or whatever the Heck it is.
53. Trolleth not on ye sabbath day, or any other day, upon they neighbor's website, for this is an abomination unto the Lord(s), Lady(ies), and all other sentient beings.

[edit] The Commandments Thou Hast No Choice But To Follow

1. Thou shalt not travel faster than fifty-seven trillion six-hundred ninety-seven billion seven-hundred forty-seven million three-hundred twenty-five thousand seven-hundred seventy-nine point one-eight-one-three-seven-seven-three-zero-three-five-eight-eight-seven-four-eight-seven-eight-eight Egyptian Cubits per fortnight.
2. Thou shalt not create or destroy mass-energy, though thou mayst convert it from one form to another.
3. Thou shalt honor entropy, and do tribute unto it every moment of thy life; and all thy actions shall contribute to the eventual heat death of the universe.
4. When falling to Earth, thou shalt accelerate twenty-one and a half cubits per second for each second thou speedest to the ground. Maybe a bit less, for the air shalt resist thy passage.
5. Thou shalt not know the exact position and momentum of a particle simultaneously. Thou shalt honor this commandment in all its applicable forms. Otherwise the cat gets it.
6. Thou shalt not create teleportation machines that can only identify the actions of the particles it transports or only the placement of said particles, for various science fictions have stated that such machines must be combined to identify BOTH aspects of the particles simultaneously.
7. Thou shalt adorn thy atoms of carbon with four bonds, no more, no less. Four is the number of bonding, and the number of bonds shall be four. Thou shalt not adorn them with two, nor three, unless thou makest a carbene. Five is right out. If thou disregardeth this Commandment, thou shalt lose marks on thy quiz.
8. If thou rotateth, the direction of thy force shall be towards the heavens.

[edit] The Commandments No One Follows

1. Thou shalt not blindly follow my teachings, but instead think for thy self.
2. Thou shalt not pick at it for it will surely get worse if thou dost.
3. Thou shalt take only photographs, and leave only footprints.
4. Thou shalt not steal pens from thy post office.
5. Thou shalt remember My last name is not "Dammit".
6. Thou shalt obey the Prime Directive, unless thou last name be Kirk, Picard, or Janeway, or thou hast command of a vessel namest Enterprise and/or "Voyager".