Atheism
From WikiWrit
Atheism is the belief that there is no deity, supernatural or divine force in the universe. That everyone else who believes there is a deity (or deities) or supernatural or divine force must be a religious wacko, and it is their duty to try to convince them otherwise.
Other Athiests quietly disbelieve, and don't feel the need to dedicate dozens of pages on the internet to the topic of God's nonexistance. Many even think that humanity in general does need some sort of religion. "If God did not exist, we would need to invent him".
[edit] Atheists meet Loki and deny that he exists
Atheists believe everything can be explained by natural processes. Yet they still cannot explain where all the matter and energy in the universe came from, or how George W. Bush won two US Presidential elections despite being the unpopular candidate. Deists claim these things came about due to divine intervention of a diety, Atheists use the scientific explanation they call "Random Chance". In which case it was simply a good dice roll that created all the matter and energy in the universe as well as life and allowing George W. Bush to win both times.
Deists claim that God rolls dice, and Einstien claimed that "God does not roll dice!" Atheists claim that there is no God that rolls dice but that dice are rolled by nobody and nothing.
Stephen Hawking later made the statement that "No only does God roll dice, but sometimes he rolls them where they cannot be seen, like a black hole." Atheists claim that is not true, everything happens as a result of chaos.
Loki chimed in and said "Hey, that is my trademark, don't steal from me." Atheists said "be quiet Loki, you don't exist!"
Loki said "Don't exist? Loki begs to differ." and Loki changed one of the Atheists into a Scientologist.
The Scientologist then stated that "25 Million years ago, Xenu destroyed Thetans, and these Thetans now inhabit our bodies and cause mental and physical illnesses."
The remaining Atheists said "No, Xenu does not exist. People came about as a result of evolution from apes."
The Scientologist said "While I agree on the evolution theory, people came from clams, not apes. Would you like to take a personality test?"
The Atheists claimed, "What? Clams? No no no, we came from Apes."
Loki said, "Ok, quiet down you Atheists. I'll have to teach one of you a lesson again." And Loki changed an Atheist into an Ape-like creature, named Bigfoot.
Loki said, "See I am helping you, here is a missing link to help prove your evolution theory that people came from apes."
Bigfoot said "Bigfoot not like being turned into ape-man, 1000 Bigfoot want to be human again."
The Atheists remaining said "Loki you don't exist, and you are doing too many random things in order to exist. So we don't believe you did any of these things. There is no Bigfoot, no Xenu, no Thetans, no war 25 million years ago, and nothing exists outside of the universe!"
Loki had discovered something, "Oh yeah, right, you Atheists seem to be creating your own reality distortion field. You seem to be living in your own version of reality and ignore things that seem out of place. Well, I guess I'd better head back home." and Loki vanished without a trace.
Bigfoot said "What about me? Bigfoot have to go to Northwest to live in forest now. Pose for pictures by local tourists who nobody believe see Bigfoot."
The Scientologist went on to become Tom Cruise and became a famous actor. After everyone else left, the Atheists said, "See we were right, no Loki, no Bigfoot, no Thetans, nothing out of the ordinary."
[edit] Atheism as a religion?
Atheists don't really have a religion, although some of them do worship science. Some of them attack religion. Some of them promote secular humanism instead of religion. For Atheists who are also scientists see also Scientist. Atheism has been called an anti-religion, because it is supposed to be the opposite of a religion. Atheists claim that holy writings, such as Wikiwrit, are wrong and strongly oppose them. Though you have to admit, there are quite a few atheist contributors to Wikiwrit but, oh ah, pay no attention to that man behind the keyboard clicking his mouse on the edit button.
However, many people believe that if anti-religion, (which in itself is a paradox of athiesm) Touches religion. The resulting temporal-space flux inversion flow of cake may initiate a countdown sequence of 482947 iso-seconds. This will result in 400 24ths of a 5th of the universe being eaten by a large electrical leach who shall not be named, who happens to be named Thadius. (see god's pets)
In the words of Dr. Roger Fleming: Ranger Brad, I'm a scientist. I don't believe in anything. [http://images.google.com/images?hl=en
Rather amusingly, in France a group of Atheists have started a congregation of sorts, discussing why they disbelieve, and presumably right and wrong reasons for disbelieving (see Stephen Colbert's "Unquisition" bit). There is even an anti-baptism offered for former Christians, supplementing an empty gesture with an equally empty gesture. Thy wonders always cease.
